He gave me twin boys.
I'm pretty sure He did this because He needed more entertainment in His existence.
These boys.... ohh what can I say about these boys? They are adorable, witty, clever, sassy, stubborn, messy, loud, snuggly, sweet, unyielding, suspicious, firm. (plus a lot more things)
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When sweet Alli came along I had no clue...... NO clue about parenting. I had these notions in my head that the way to raise up a proper child was to tell the child what to do- and they did it. They never questioned, they just sweetly obeyed. It was no different than training a dog, for example. You want it to stop barking, you teach it... and it stops barking. The end.
Alli followed all of the rules.
We never had an obedience problem with her.
People would talk about how "hard" it was to be a parent, and how their kids were out of control- and with my smug little face I was just thought "It's your own dumb fault, because you obviously have no idea how to train children."
(If you are one of these people like I was, I will just warn you.... this attitude please change it before it gets too late.....maybe view my story as a cautionary tale.)
Then Maggie came along. Sweet, adorable, redheaded Maggie. She was stubborn from the get go. She was always on her own schedule- she flat out refused to do anything other than nurse for the first 18 months of her life.... and she refused to fall asleep without nursing... which basically meant she comfort nursed ALL THE FLIPPIN time... like... every 45 minutes or so- 24 hours a day. for a year and a half I got 45 minutes of sleep at a time.
It was all a very fuzzy memory time in my life.
Even as a toddler, she had her own agenda. She would have to do everything HER way. Nothing was ever my way. There was no forcing this child to match her clothing, staying clean, or hold still. I swear, the only thing that kept her alive was her amazing snuggles (ohh, how she loved to snuggle), and her cheeky little grin.
I still thought I knew stuff about parenting. I still thought parents of kids who were out of control needed to learn to teach their children. I still hadn't gotten the 'smug' beat out of me yet....
And then the boys came along. Little did I know that Maggie and her little personality had just been preparing me for their arrival.
From the first moments on earth, they were in charge.
Miles is SO STUBBORN. This child REFUSES to do anything you tell him to do, simply because you said to do it. He will N-O-T apologize if he hurts someone, he will do this ' I am Jello, you cannot nail me to the wall' thing. It is so frustrating!... and it is even more frustrating when these two little stubborn boys become stubborn and have their own ideas that mix about as well as oil and water- at the same time. I NEVER feel in control. Being with them has officially wiped the smug parent off of my face.
It's like the every single one of the parenting techniques I used in the past blew up in my face-
There has been so many frustrating moments- SO MANY........ TIMES 2.
So many days I just stand at the sink, because the only thing productive I can do that I can also cry and not have anyone look at my face is doing dishes. I just can't win. I feel so low parenting these boys some days... not because they are bad kids (They are very good little boys- they keep me entertained about 65% of the time, they just have a lot of "creativity" and "independence") , it's because I am just not controlling them. There is nothing in the world I could bribe them with to bend them to my will. They don't respond to talking, to reason, to time outs, to spanks, to taking toys away, to taking treats away, to well..... anything. I have yet, in their 3.8 years on this earth, to find their "currency" (as Dr. Phil used to say).
It is at those lowest of low moments I hear the gentle whispers. I hear the Spirit whisper to me that this strong willed- never to be bent no matter what- attitude of theirs is a blessing. It isn't a curse.
This strong determination and refusal at all costs to be swayed will help protect them from the evils of the world. They will not be bent by social pressures. They will not be talked into something (well, unless it is their twin brother urging them to throw crushed up cereal in the air because it's funny) that they don't want to do. They have a set upon course of action and they always stay the course.
I just need to try to provide a small amount of direction in the wind of their sails. That is all I can do, I help remind them of things they should be doing.... and eventually it will be come the things that they WANT to do.. and all will be well.
but until that day comes, these sweet little boys need some power naps. How else are they supposed to get the ideas for their next clever little project.
