Sit

It's 12:30 in the morning. I'm just sitting here. I'm sitting on my couch looking around me at all that needs to be done, and it is overwhelming. Not only in my view are things begging for attention, but hidden away in my closets are undone projects up the wa-zoo.

The babies and Maggie are still sick. They've had the same cough/stuffy/runny nose for the last two months now. It's either allergies or the longest cold on the face of the planet. I don't want to pay $35 co-pays for each child to find out that it's a common cold.... and so I let it go on another day.

Because the babies are under the weather they are super needy. If I'm not holding one I'm holding the other. My perfect little babies who are usually so content are now not so content and don't think the floor with toys or a play chair is adequate for them. Out of the blue I'm realizing why people think that having twins is a handful and potentially hard. And with perfect timing that all children seem to have ingrained in their body's clock- they are now on different napping schedules... where the minute one baby wakes up, the other is asleep, and once he wakes up, the other is now asleep. I don't have a break. I'm really trying to just sit and enjoy this season of my life of having sweet little guys (who like to head butt with their wobbly heads)... and think of how this time will be longed for in a few years... but I am just not mentally there.

There is so much that needs to be done. Church callings left to the wayside, laundry piled up to the ceiling- with an ironing pile to match, sewing to be done, scrapbooking challenges to be completed, Christmas gifts to be made, dinners that need to be cooked, rooms that need organized and de-cluttered- and to top it off... needy children. There is so much that is needing my attention that I am frozen. I know I have to do something. Put one foot in front of the other and just take a step forward, but I don't. I'm afraid if I start one single thing then the whole of it will crash down around me- like pulling the bottom block off of the Jenga game and watching the tower fall hopelessly around you.

And so it is. I sit. I sit and watch stupid TV shows that have popped up on Netflix on demand. Seriously... Why am I watching Keeping up with the Kardashians? ..... ohh that's right, because I already watched the second season of Cake Boss.... and the first one too.

I'm letting the laundry go unfolded, the toys and shoes stay cluttering the floors, and a pile of Halloween candy wrappers stay as evidence of my frustration and comfort eating... and I ask myself, why did the girls not get as many puffy Twizzlers or Tootsie rolls this year?

Ever feel like this?

Philly

On Friday we planned to do a day trip with our whole family down to Philly. We thought it'd be lots of fun to show the old historical sites to Alli and Maggie and be with Nunnums and Pasty would be such a bonus..... but... plans changed, for the better I might add. Chip's parents thought it would be an even better idea to split up. Patsy would take Maggie on a granddaughter/grandfather date and Nunnums would have some 'one on two' time with the boys.... which left Chip and I to take Alli to Philly... just us. It was awesome. I'm so glad that the plan changed. Apparently Old Philadelphians didn't exactly think that stroller accessibility was a priority... so that would have stunk to push the double stroller around everywhere- and Maggie probably would have had a melt down after walking the first block.

We were able to tour the Philadelphia Mint, Betsy Ross's house, see Ben Franklin's grave, tour Independence Hall, see the Liberty Bell, and all sorts of other things...
Alli totally got into the history of it... she's also BFF's with Betsy Ross now, just FYI.

BUT the best part of the day was.........
Eating YUMMY REAL cheesesteaks. Heaven. Pure Heaven.




If you want to see the pictures of the kiddos that my friend Michelle took: CLICK HERE.
She pretty much did a super fantastic job, considering my kids were being punks and not cooperating. (aka: Babies Screaming and not smiling one bit)

Market Day

We're over half way with our vacation, and I realize how fast our time is whizzing by! We have plans every single day- so we already feel like the vacation is gone... sigh... Enjoy it while I've got it... right?

Chip has been loving having time off, but he feels a little weird, being that the past 5 years of his "time off" he's had to work in some capacity or another (I mean, heck- his old work actually called him to do some stuff when I was about to push out Maggie!). He kinda feels like he should be working on this vacation. I'm hoping he'll get over this feeling quickly enough.

Yesterday Nunnums busted out the Halloween costumes that she made for the girls. Alli=Princess Tiana, Maggie= Tinkerbell, Miles and Dexter=Pirates. Today we got the kids all dressed up in their costumes and went to the farmer's market. We thought that today was a trick-or-treat day with the vendors- but we found out once we got there, that it's next Wednesday. Bummer. Alli was a bit embarrassed to be in costume when nobody else was, but she got over it....

I love farmer's markets. The produce smells, tastes, and looks wonderful! Huge pumpkins for $1! "Prada" purses for $10. Bag-O-Bras for $10 (real winner, huh?).

Alli and Dex watching cartoons. They were both so into it!

(The booth they are in front of says "Shelly's Country Style Batter Dipt Vegetables"... we thought it was so funny .... deep fried veggies. Healthy!)

But.... this was the adventure of the day. Chocolate Covered Bacon. I bought a piece. I shared it with Chip. (You can have dark chocolate or milk chocolate.... but in the end, it probably has the same result in your taste buds.... and those were gummy fried eggs on top of the bacon. weird.) It was interesting. It had a smooth chocolate beginning- then a little bit of a salty chocolate flavor- and the last flavor was bacon. It was different. Chip wasn't a fan... and I can't say that I'll ever have a hankering to eat it again.. but it was an experience none the less.

Tomorrow's adventure: Get the boys' pictures taken by my awesome friend Michelle. Check out her blog.... here.

Little Girl

Today I drove Chip to downtown Philadelphia to attend a conference to promote Telesaur. I left my older two kids with their Nunnums, and we took the babies so we could introduce them to some very dear friends of ours.

These friends were the same people who Chip rented a basement room from while he was attending Temple University.{They also live next door to Bill Cosby's parents.... double cool.} We seriously just LOVE this family. When I grow up- I want to be as cool, generous, kind, and wonderful as them. (for example... Chip was planning on taking the train into the city where the conference is, but when they heard his plan, they gave him keys to their car and said "see ya tonight". He declined to take their car, but accepted a ride from them instead..... WHO just hands over the keys to their car? Yeah. They do. They also offered to give me their cell phone because my battery died in mine. They seriously are some pretty awesome people.)

Currently they have a sweet little 2 1/2 year old living with them. She will be adopted into their family soon. She is hilarious! When I first walked in she acted a little shy... but when I got to her level and squeeze hugged her- we were instant BFF's. The next thing I knew she had her arm in front of my face and said "Eat Me." This was my kind of kid. I of course couldn't deny her the pleasure of me eating her... so I did. Lots of laughter ensued.

I am nervous to get her and Maggie together on Wednesday....... just picture a sassy pants Maggie with a new sassy pants friend. Ohh goodness. This will get goofy (or cat fights... but let us pray for goofy.)

I just have to say- I love little kids who tell me to eat them. I will never say no to that.

Speaking of eating.......

This is a picture of my birthday cake that I got on Saturday.

It's from Sweet Street Bakery (photo is off their website)

This place makes fancy pants desserts for all sorts of spiffy restaurants.... and when they have an oopsie- such as uneven cut cake slices... it gets put into their outlet. This outlet just so happens to be where Chip's parents live. Heaven couldn't be any closer than this. I'm sure of it.

Enjoy drooling.

Yay

For my birthday Chip got me a trip.
The picture is your clue.

He's actually just taking all of us along with him as he attends a telework conference to promote TELESAUR! (Which will be launched in 2 weeks... hurray!).... but it still counts, right?

{Chip hasn't put up the REAL Telesaur website up yet... he's still beta testing. So no worries- the real site is way cooler.}

Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy right now.

I had no idea that there was opposition to the things stated at this year's General Conference address that my church had- until I started reading some blog posts by fellow bloggers. (I kinda live in a bubble- We don't watch TV hardly at all,... it's been MONTHS since I've watched the news, I stick to Facebook, my e-mail, and fluffy- pretty-happy- blogs to blog stalk. Hence: The bubble.)

Basically, there is a lot of hub-bub circling around Elder Boyd K. Packer's conference address. He simply stated that we believe that "marriage between man and woman is ordained of God". I believe that to be true. I never questioned his talk, because I have prayed about that subject before- and I have received my answer through the Holy Ghost. What he said was and is true.

Because of that statement (and talk), the church is now being hounded by the Human Rights Campaign.(HRC) {Their under-roos are in a mega-bunch over this}

The Church has released it's official position on Elder Packer's talk. (Here)

I don't understand the HRC. They are asking (bullying) the church to respect their rights and position, when they themselves don't respect the rights or position of the people in our church. How is that not a double standard?

No amount of belittling, bullying, name-calling, "logic filled lists", or tantrum throwing will change anyone's mind on this issue to 'win' anyone over to either side of the debate..... and yet- it keeps happening.

I try to love everyone, without judging their beliefs or opinions. I feel like I am a Miss USA pageant participant saying "I want World Peace".... but I seriously do.

I just wish that people can respect each other. You can love the sinner (we all are sinners in one way or another)... but not the sin.

For example: Growing up I had a gay uncle. I love my uncle. He is a wonderful man. He is kind, hilarious, generous, would help anyone, silly, awesome guy. He just so happened to like men. So what?! It didn't change who he was. He knew that our family (mostly Mormon's) didn't believe that homosexuality is the correct pathway in life. He respected that. Just like we respected his choice. I may have been 'just a kid' looking at our family through rose colored glasses- but this was the reality that I saw: Love came first. We all loved my uncle. We didn't have to "love" his choice. I don't think he would have ever asked any of us to pass any marriage act that would go against our beliefs.

Reading comments on these blogs- you would think that every Mormon person in the world had horns hiding under our hair lines- by the way some people were talking.

Holy Moly. Our church preaches of Christ's love. That would be love for everyone. Jesus loved everyone. The deaf, the dumb, the leper, the harlot, the sinner, the gay...... everyone. It was an all inclusive love. Why is it that all of these people are thinking we don't respect or love homosexual people, just because we don't vote to let them get married? We say they shouldn't get married because that is what we believe in. They believe that homosexuality is perfectly A-OK. We believe that it is a sin. We aren't asking them to change their beliefs, so why should we change ours?

*Sigh*

This is a bad topic for a blog. I will probably get 1 million hate comments saying that my horns are showing because I won't vote to legalize gay marriage- but I just have to say: Unless I get direct revelation from the Lord telling me that I should help to legalize it, I won't do it. I can't do it. But..... I can certainly love everyone and be tolerant.

Like I said, I really do wish for world peace. It'd be so much easier.



**Please don't send "hate" comments. It will make me feel sad. When I feel sad, I'll delete your comment.**

How To:

Here's a little step by step directions on how to change a diaper.

Step 1: Sniff out culprit. If you have one baby, this is a no-brainer. If you have two or more, prepare to sniff.
Step 2: Once stinky britches has been identified, lay him down on a flat surface.
Step 3. Obtain diaper and wipes. Lay next to baby.
Step 4. Take off stinker diaper. Grab clean diaper and get ready to put under baby's bum.
Step 5. Turn and talk to sister-in-law for just one second.
Step 6: After you and clean diaper get soaked by enough tinkle to put out a fire - grab yet another diaper and some more wipes.
Step 7: Place second clean diaper under baby's bum and adhere the tabs.
Step 8: After ripping off both of the tabs from diaper #2- reach for yet another clean diaper.
Step 9: After getting tinkled on yet again while in process of getting diaper #3- grab some more wipes.
Step 10. Get 3rd clean diaper on faster than a cat jumps out of a bathtub to avoid getting tinkled on, yet again.

Congratulations. You just successfully changed a diaper.
You may now take a shower.

Woulda, Coulda

Woulda- Coulda- Shoulda. Those are the three words circling around my head.

Saturday is my 29th Birthday. This year my birthday is really hard for me.
I spent 1/3 of my life as a child, 1/3 of my life attending the school of hard knocks, and the last 1/3 of my life has been spent raising children.
I feel like I haven't accomplished much. (Aside from a successful marriage and giving birth to 4 kids....)

I think one of my biggest regrets is not going to college. At the time when I graduated (6 months early), I was head over heals for well... not the one that I was destined to be with- and because of that reason... I was shipped off to live with my grandparents in Germany for 6 months. (Which I am forever grateful for.) When I got back to the states, I just wasn't in the right mental place to go to school. So.... I became a nanny. It was 6 months after I became a nanny that I met Chip- 6 weeks later we were engaged- and 6 months later we were married. Alli was born one day before our first anniversary. There was just no time to go to school and be a parent. I know that some people can do it.... but I am not one of those people. Either my precious baby would have been neglected because of the mountains of school work that would need my attention- or my school work in which I was paying for would have been neglected so I could be a mom. I decided that my job as a mom was the best choice for me and my family at that time. As a wise man once said "No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” I was determined not to fail at that.

In 5 short days I will enter into my last year of my 20's. Aside from my children I have made no great impact on the world. I feel a little like a failure. I know, I know... "Your children are the impact that you are making".... "You're doing your part."... etc, etc.... that's what I'm trying to say to myself..... but It's just not giving me much comfort right now.

And the saddest part about this whole whining session is if I actually got the chance to go to college RIGHT NOW.... I wouldn't even know what I want to be when I grow up. I want to do everything. First I wanted to get my business degree so I could open up a scrapbooking store. Then I realized that I wouldn't actually get to scrap- or be with my family of whom I'd want to be taking pictures of - to scrap as I'd be running a business. Then I wanted to become an attorney. I actually love the law. I'm a little um... self righteous and really wish that the whole "eye for an eye" law was still in place... man, there would be none of this political bull crap going on- it'd be a "get er' done" society if I was in charge...... but Chip said he'd leave me if I got into politics (cause we all know that I'd get a big head).... so that's pretty much off the table. Then I wanted to become a baker. I LOVE to bake. Why not go to culinary school and learn all about fun stuff? Then I could open up my own bakery and make super cute edible things. But then I realized that I'd be one hot sweaty mess and have to deal with bridezilla's and go into work at 3 am just to get the bagels done in time for the first customers to arrive. Yeah... I'm a late nighter- not an early morninger. It just won't work out. Then I wanted to be a teacher... but I'd probably get really ticked off a lot, because there are a ton of stupid people who are parents who don't actually parent- and I'd probably get arrested somewhere down the line for either smacking someone in the head for their stupidity- or spanking an ill behaved child.... So that won't happen either.

**sigh**

There has just got to be something out there for me. But I feel like I'm running out of time to figure it out.

The 'master plan' is that when our last child(ren) goes to school, then I will attend college during the hours they are in school. If we don't have anymore children... I have 5 years until that happens. If it does happen, then I will be a 34 year old new college student..... and considering that while I'm going to school, I still have to be a mom... that pretty much means that it will take me at least 5 years to earn a degree. So I will basically be 40- FOURTY- years old by the time I start a career.

This is all so overwhelming to me. I'm not old enough to be 'almost 40'.

What happened to the days where you wanted to round up your age? I remember turning 15 and my mom threw me an "Almost 16" birthday party.

Now I just want to rewind the clock.

I want to rewind the clock- figure out who I want to be- and then pull up some covers over my head and hide from the number 29.



( As said by President David O. McKay, Quoted from J. E. McCullough, Home: The Savior of Civilization [1924], 42; Conference Report, Apr. 1935, 116.)

Today's Date

Even my van thought today was a good day.


(See Mom- I can drive under 70, on the left hand side of the road, and take a picture at the same time. Aren't you proud?)

Big Dream

I have a dream.

Big. Sexy. Eyelashes.

(as well as perfect non-uni-eyebrows.... but I can only work on one dream at a time)

I am a hoarder of mascara because of this dream. Currently in my make-up bag I have about 8 different kinds of mascara. From name brand to generic- If it's under $10... I've had it. I don't want to pay out the ears for my dream to happen. I guess I'm expecting a miracle in a lash wand.

This was my eye lashes before and after mascara. Pretty underwhelming. I'm not impressed. (This was 'Lash Stiletto' by Maybelline)

Maybe one day I'll grow long luscious lashes.... but I doubt it.

Until then, I'll keep looking for my little miracle in a bottle.

What do you use to make your eye lashes 'pop'?

Perspective

"I can't wait until I can grow up and be a stay at home mom!" said Alli as she got into the car when I picked her up from school today. "Why?" I asked her- (I was excited that she was accepting her divine calling in life to be a mom... and secretly laughing inside while I was thinking about all the paybacks her children will give her.....) "Because when I'm a stay at home mom all day, I'll get to be lazy and scrapbook all day like you!" She said with much enthusiasm. (I haven't gotten to scrapbook during normal waking hours in like..... 3 months.. just FYI.)

I didn't contradict her. I could have said: "Ohh, just wait and see what a picnic being a stay at home mom is... you work 24/7... and then some." or "You'll never get a decent night's sleep or be rested ever again after having children." or "You'll never have free time after the kids arrive." But I didn't.

As Chip would say "Some of life's biggest disappointments are best kept a secret until that time arrives".

I think she will be unpleasantly surprised at how lazy she won't get to be.

I know I was.

4 months

Well..... 4 months-1 week-and 3 days old to be exact.

Yep. That's how long I've successfully survived having twins. (and if you're counting Maggie in the picture.... she's 4 years-3 months- 3 weeks- and 2 days old. So I'm thinking I have a pretty good success rate.... which as you remember, If I can survive her... I can survive anything.)

Today was the babies' doctor appointments.

From now on, we'll just call them Land Manatees. Big. Chunky. Edible.

Miles is tipping the scales at 16lb 1 oz- 25 1/4 inches long. Dexter is coming in second- but not far behind at 15lb 8oz and 25 inches long. Both are the 75% for weight and 50% for height.

Here are a few of their milestones:

Miles: He just started last week rolling from tummy to back. It startles him! He loves watching TV- let me clarify.... after the big kids go to bed, Chip and I watch our show (currently it's Prison Break. Wowza.. love that show!)... and he instantly turns his head towards the screen to watch. He's a big talker and a big smiler. He doesn't mind being put down to chill by himself and he loves being held.He loves grabbing toys and is starting to chew on them. Basically- he's one big happy baby. He is sleeping 10-12 hours solid through the night still. :)

Dexter: He started rolling from tummy to back about 5 weeks ago and just two days ago started almost rolling from back to tummy... he's so close. I think in a few more days- he'll nail that. He loves to reach for his toys and knows how to pull the ones that vibrate and does it over and over. He's a little snuggle buggle. He wants to be held a lot- but is fairly okay with being put down so I can try and get things done. He also is sleeping 10-12 hours at night.

These babies are such a delight. Only fussy when hungry or poop-filled. They go to sleep without me holding them and don't fuss when falling asleep. I pretty much scored.

Jaws

I recently checked out a book from the library called "Hello, Cupcake!" and told the girls to each pick a style of cupcake they liked- and we'd make it together. Alli decided that she LOVED these shark cupcakes. I thought that Friday night, when she was having a sleepover with her BFF would be a fun time to make them.

Cute.,...right? Totally do-able... right? Easy enough for a 28 year old, two 7 year olds and a 4 year old to do.... right? he he he... Yeah.... I was fooled too.

I guess I thought they were so easy, that I wouldn't have to follow instructions to the "T". Word to the wise... follow the instructions.

At least the kids had a blast making them- Everyone got a huge sugar high- and apparently at the end of the night I was voted Mother of the Year by everyone 7 and under in my house.

Victory is mine.

(Click on image to make it bigger)

Even the boys thought I was pretty great. Then again... with clean diapers and full tummies- they think anyone is great.


Next adventure: Maggie's cupcake tower of monsters. This outta' be fun.

General Conference

One huge difference between our church and those of the other Christian churches is that we still believe in modern day revelation and also a modern day prophet and apostles. Two times a year we have what's called General Conference. Two days 4 sessions- two hours each session. It is during those sessions of conference that we obtain council, advice, instruction from the Prophet and apostles. I LOVE conference time. I feel the spirit so strongly and I know the things which are said are prayed about and are instructions directly from the Lord.
(If you would like to watch conference - any session- Click Here. It's not just for those of my faith, it's also wonderful and comforting for any Christian to listen to.)

There are many different ways to listen to conference. It is broadcast at all church buildings, streamed over the web- it is printed in the Ensign magazine (November and May issues)- you can also download it for your MP3 player. We choose to watch it at home via our computer. We have a tradition- Big buffet of food- cozy soft clothes- comfy blankets- and everyone hanging out together watching it. We think it brings family unity as we listen to our prophet's voice.

Our Saturday buffet- The Naan wasn't pictured- I was cooking it. Cheeseball, chicken salad, rainbow fruit tray, hummus, M&M's,pretzels, Tootsie pops, cupcakes, feta cheese and a Greek salad. Stuff your face good. :) The Sunday Buffet was just as yummers.

I decided this year when my arms had their empty times, that I'd do a little craft. I ran across a random blog that had a really cool way to do a wreath made out of books. I thought that it looked easy enough- so why not?! I think it turned out pretty cute! (I made two of them- someones going to get a gift ;D)
(They cost less than $4 each to make!- Dollar tree wreaths, 40%off coupon for buttons, fabric is a thrift store shirt, and the book was also from the thrift store.)

Today was also the first day of 50 degree weather- so guess what I got to bust out? Yep- my favorite polka dot flannel PJ's and my super cozy slippers.

Add everything together- and it equals a pretty perfect day.

Squish

(Dexter in blue- Miles in yellow.)

Tonight the kids were just being so cute together. I love it when they get like this. Squishy cute. You just want to wrap them up in your arms and give them a HUGE squish. I just had to take their pictures.

About 5 minutes after these pictures.... they all had a melt down. It was good while it lasted.